Making Friends, Sharing Feelings (Trustworthiness)
From Stormie:
CHARACTER
EDUCATION: Manners
Making Friends, Sharing Feelings (Trustworthiness)
From
Stormie:
The "Six
Pillars of Character" are Trustworthiness,
Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship, and then
under each of those, there are many (what I call) "sub-pillars" like
cheerfulness, friendliness, forgiveness, sharing, kindness, helpfulness, honesty,
courtesy, and so on. In adding "Character Education" to my website
curriculums, I do not in any way mean to suggest that we sit and lecture 4yr olds
on character traits. But we can:
*Model
good character
*Point
out and praise good character traits when we see them being revealed naturally
*Discuss
(reinforce) particular character traits during Group Time
*Read
stories that encourage good character
*Provide
activities to promote the development of being a "good person" (like
role playing real-life situations that call upon us to make decisions based on
having good character)
I have chosen a "good character trait"
focus for each of my curriculums based on the other themes for that month, but
obviously, we actually practice many of them every day, as it should be. Over
time, I hope to add others to my website as I create activities for them. I
hope you will e-mail your thoughts and ideas too.
Manners
From Stormie:
To
share your ideas, e-mail me at stormie@preschoolbystormie.com
Making
a Multicultural Connection:
To
provide a frame of reference, show children where countries are located on your
classroom globe or map, and if possible, provide related pictures and books:
China
(located on the continent of Asia): *From Cathy Javor, in Hawaii: In Hawaiian, "mahalo" means "thank you." Pronunciation: Ma (short a as in ma) ha (like in ha ha ha) lo (low). The accent is on "ma."
Making Friends, Sharing Feelings (Trustworthiness)
From Stormie:
"Making Friends" and "Sharing Feelings"
are such great character trait themes under the pillar of "Trustworthiness."
Discussions:
*Ask
children to tell you about their friends: Why do you like your friend(s)? How
can you be a good friend? (Listen to our friends, help our friends, don't
hurt our friends' feelings, etc.) Talk about how we have to be a friend
if we want a friend (give examples).
*Talk
about and give examples of "doing what we say we will do." One
example might be: Alice promised that she would give Alissa the doll baby to play
with after she finishes feeding it. When she was finished, she saw
Alissa over in the book corner looking at a book. How can she keep her promise?
*Talk about
and give examples of "doing the right thing." One example
might be: Johnny has some candy but he only has two small pieces and he wants
both of them, but he is playing with his friend, Cindy. What should
he do?
Thought Questions (or Role Play Ideas): Give examples of
real life situations and let children decide if the person is being a friend or
not:
*Alice
told a lie about her best friend. Was she being a good friend?
*Joey
helped Amanda clean up her juice when she spilled it. Was he being a good
friend?
*Janey
saw Linda's bracelet on the floor. She liked it so much and wanted to keep
it so she put it in her pocket and took it home. Was she being a good friend?
*Eric was angry
with Billy so he said he was never going to play with him again? Is
that being a friend? What should he do?
*And
so on
Emotions/feelings
I like to focus on during my "Feelings" unit are happy, sad, angry, silly, excited,
tired, scared, surprised, sleepy, worried, to name a few. How about
you?
Expressions Album: If you save every kind of magazine you
can get your hands on, begin collecting pictures from them of people showing all
sorts of emotions -- especially children. Compile them in a photo album
for your Language Center, and use the album at Group Time too. What a great
language activity as children open up and talk about the various pictures.
One activity is to let each child choose a picture from the album to talk about.
You can ask them questions if they need guidance (Example: Why do you think the
little boy in the picture might be sad?)
Feelings: Play various
types of music during Group Time (fast, slow, upbeat, etc) and have the children
tell you how it makes them feel.
Easy Easel Project: Provide two
large easel-paper circles for each child. Instruct them to paint a happy
face on one and a sad face on the other.
Punching Pete: I received
this idea from RuthAnn, someone I worked with here in Florida who is one
of the best preschool teachers I've ever known. RuthAnn, who is also very
talented with a needle and thread, made a stuffed pillow person for her Quiet
Corner. He had a face and was named Punching Pete. When children were
upset, they could act out their feelings of anger by punching the pillow instead
of a friend. Another character was Loving Larry who could be used for hugging
when sad.
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/\ String of Friends: Give each child a string of 3-5 paper dolls
without faces or details. Let them draw faces and whatever else they desire
to further create each person in the string. If they know other children's
names in the classroom, they may want to tell you who their friends are in the
paper line-up. Have them talk about why they like their friends.
Friends Alice and Alex: Provide bowls of large and mini marshmallows, pretzel sticks, gumdrops, raisins, etc and let the children create their own version of "Snack Friends Alice and Alex" on paper plates. I chose those names to reinforce the letter of the month (A).
Easel Buddies: Allow two children
(friends) to paint together on one side of the easel.
Collage Buddies:
Allow two children (friends) to do a collage together.
Wall Decor/Fine Motor: Paper Quilt of
Friends: I have done various types of friendship quilts, but this is my favorite,
mostly because the materials are handy, and because the activity is creative (within
the limits of a theme). Provide each child with a sheet of construction
paper (their choice of a light color). Instruct them to then draw or collage
a picture of themselves. Later, punch holes around the edges of all the
construction paper pieces, and then have children weave them all together with
a pretty yarn or ribbon, creating one large "quilt of friends" to hang on your
classroom wall or bulletin board. Weaving is a wonderful fine motor activity.
New Fun With Old Rhymes: What a great little "friends"
rhyme to read to the children and discuss with them:
A
New Friend
(by Marjorie Allen Anderson)
They've taken in the furniture (I watched them carefully)
I wondered, "Will there be a child just right to play with me?"
So I peeked through the garden fence (I couldn't wait to see)
I found the
little boy next door was peeking back at me.
Comfort Cookies:
Here's an old recipe from my files that I made with a college friend during my
ECE training. It's been around for many many years (known as Aggression
Cookies), and if you ever made them with your mom or grandma, you'll remember
how much work they were for your hands (fine motor). But my revised name
for them also suggests that they can be made during a "Feelings" unit
or when there's lots of penned-up frustrations in the classroom -- like the stress
of being in new surroundings :-) :
3 cups margarine -- 3 cups brown sugar -- 3 cups
flour -- 6 cups oats
1 tablespoon baking soda -- 2 cups chocolate drops (or
butterscotch or peanut butter drops)
Mash, knead, squeeze, pound, pinch,
etc. all ingredients in a large bowl until completely blended. Form into
small balls about 1 to 1 1/2 inches in size and place on an ungreased cookie sheet.
Butter the bottom of a small juice glass and then dip it into white sugar,
then pound the cookies flat with it. Bake the cookies at 350 degrees for
approx. 10-12 mins.
Stormie's
Games: By the way, I offer a "happy/feelings"
related game called "Sunny Face Lotto" in the "Teaching
Aids" section of "Stormie's Stuff for Teachers."
You
are invited to share your ideas too. E-mail me at stormie@preschoolbystormie.com
Here's a fantastic
idea sent to me from Lauren Mulready, Special Needs Preschool Teacher,
Attleboro, MA:
Friendship
Quilt: When the school year begins, I ask if there is a parent who is willing
to sew together a Friendship Quilt for our class. If I find a volunteer,
then each child brings in a square of fabric they have picked out (so it has meaning
for them) and a bottle of fabric paint. Each child creates a handprint on
the fabric and their name is printed at the bottom of the square. When the
squares are completed, they go home with the parent and sewn together. When
it is complete and brought back to school, I take a picture of the children together
with the quilt. I have a Friendship Quilt bag that will carry the quilt
back and forth to each child's house. In the bag I include a Polaroid camera,
a binder filled with plastic report protectors, and instructions for parents to
take a picture or 2 of their child at home with the quilt (including family members
if the CHILD wants) and to write a story (with the child) about what they did
with the quilt when it was at their house. Then the items are brought back
to school and the story and pictures are shared with the class. Our quilts
have had many, many adventures. At the end of the year, the quilt goes home
with the child whose parent made it and the pictures and stories are sent home
with each child.
From
Andrea Black, a former pre-k teacher, in Ft. Polk, LA:
Feelings Book: For each page of the book (one book
per child), draw a face showing expression (sad, happy, mad). (Or have the
children draw the expressions.) Have the children draw a picture on each
page to correspond with that emotion. Involve language skills by asking
them, "What makes you sad, happy, etc? This is a great project for helping
children to understand their emotions and the feelings of others. My daughter
and I did this project together too (an idea you can suggest to your parents).
On her "happy face" page, she drew her version of our trip to Disneyland.
After telling me about her picture (practicing language), I captioned it "Megan
at Disneyland." Now, when she looks at her book, she can remember why or
what made her happy (memory skill practice).
From
Angie:
Sticker Pals: Stormie,
during a week in September (for five mornings), we place a sticker on each child
as they enter the classroom. They are to then find their "sticker pal"
by finding the person with a matching sticker. Then the two of them
go look at a book together and sit with each other during our first Circle Time.
From Diane Hammond:
Friendship
Wreath: For each child, trace a large circle and cut out the middle to resemble
a wreath. Choose a rainbow of paint colors and paint each child's hand and
have them make prints on every wreath. Each child takes a wreath home with
all their new friends on it. Label each child's handprint with his/her name.
The parents seem to like this and the child can hang it up in their room at home.
From
Cassie Leatherwood, in Attalla, Alabama:
Song: My Friend: I do a good morning song with my
preschoolers that reinforces friendship, although it can be sung anytime of day.
The teacher can sing the song or even individual children can sing about
a friend:
(Tune: Mulberry
Bush)
My friend's name is Elizabeth, Elizabeth,
Elizabeth.
My friend's name is Elizabeth. I'm glad she came today.
Here
are some great tips for practicing social skills from Kiki Boteler, lead
teacher, Lake Contrary Adventure Club, Saint Joseph, Missouri:
*
Mirroring: The children watch me or a partner and try to make their bodies
match. It is, of course, great for body awareness, but also for talking
about emotions. Once the silliness wears off, I show the children different
emotions and how to use your voice to show you mean what you say. I will
have them mirror me when I apologize to someone or show empathy or accidentally
bump into someone and say, "Excuse me". I also use this to talk
about how sometimes people around us are crabby because they are mirroring us,
and when there is an issue to discuss, I often ask, "Can I mirror you and
show you what I'm seeing?" (They rarely want to see it, so we usually
can then have a good conversation about the matter instead.)
**The
book " How to
Take No for an Answer" contains hands-on games that give children
practice using manners and social skills and opportunities to see how it feels
when they are treated with manners. Also, they have an opportunity to feel
disappointed in a controlled setting where they can learn from the experience.
*I
try to be very explicit in management, and have developed phrases that I use in
certain situations to make sure that I am consistent. I try to make these
real life lessons, not just platitudes. The most important one to me
is "You don't have to play with people who are mean to you." (Even
many adults don't know this and either remain in hurtful relationships or swallow
their feelings in order to be perceived as "nice.") We talk about
how to tell someone they are bothering you and what to do if they don't stop.
*I
encourage children to say, "I forgive you" instead of "It's okay"
when they are apologized to. I hope it makes them realize that saying you're
sorry makes the other person feel better that you have acknowledged you were wrong,
but it doesn't make what you did okay to do again and then just say "sorry"
again.
Suggested Books:
From Stormie:
I love these Mercer
Mayer books and the woes of "Little Critter"
for the themes above:
1. This Is My Friend: This
is a cute little story about the ups and downs of being friends with someone.
It's especially nice to read when there's lots of "He/she said I'm not his/her
friend" going on in the class.
2. I Was So Mad: This
little guy is "so mad" because he can't get his way all the time.
3. That's Not Fair (by Gina & Mercer Mayer;
illustrated by Mercer Mayer): Little Critter discusses the unfairness of his not
being allowed to do certain things (like bring home a skunk).
I
Don't Want To, Written by Sally Grindley; Carol Thompson, Illustrator:This
is about a little boy who didn't want to do anything (especially go to school
on that first day) till he saw how much fun everyone else was having. Then,
he "didn't want to" go home.
Happy,
Sad, Angry, Excited, Written by Keith Faulkner; Illustrated by Jonathan
Lambert: This is definitely a hands-on book that's great for children
younger than 4, but 4 yr olds (and hey, this teacher too) enjoy pulling the tabs
on the pages making the people in the little boy's family change expressions.
A Book Of
Hugs, by Dave Ross; Illustrated by Laura Rader: This
is a darling book that provides instructions on how to give hugs to (and receive
hugs from) all kinds of creatures -- from rocks and trees to animals and relatives.
The Selfish
Crocodile, by Faustin Charles and Michael Terry: This
story is about a crocodile who wouldn't share the river with any of the other
animals. He threatened to eat them if they tried to drink from "his" river.
So, everyone stayed away. Then, one day, Crocodile was in great pain.
A very small forest animal came to his rescue and the experience changed his attitude.
This book also fits these themes nicely: animals, dental health.
Today
I Feel Silly (& Other Moods That Make My Day), by Jamie
Lee Curtis; illustrated by Laura Cornell: This is a cute book about
the day to day feelings of a little girl.
From
Bonnie T. in Colorado Springs, Colorado:
When
Sophie Get's Angry--Really, Really Angry, written and illustrated by Molly Bang:
This book is about a little girl getting angry
and then taking time to cool off and regain her composure. The colors used
are beautifully matched with her feelings (shades of red were used when she was
angry and blues and greens were used when she calmed down). This useful
book shows kids that everybody gets angry now and then but they shouldn't let
this frightening emotion get the best of them.
The Friends of Emily Culpepper, Written by Ann Coleridge and Illustrated by Roland Harvey: This book is about friendship. It starts out, "Emily Culpepper is an old lady who enjoys cooking and traveling, but most of all, she enjoys talking to her friends. One of her friends was the milkman (then you change the page) so she made him small and put him in a jam jar, so she could talk to him any time she wanted." She's not a mean old lady, she just wants some friends around all the time to talk to and play with.
On
Monday When it Rained, by Cheryl Kachenmeister: This book is about
feelings. Photos are used to show the child's expressions and it allows
time to guess what his feelings will be in a given situation, like how he felt
on Monday when it rained and he couldn't go out to play. You then turn the
page and see his expression.
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Reminder
from Stormie: If you would like to begin collecting ALL my current classroom
ideas (each on a 4 x 6" index card), as well as new ones that I create, you
can do so by ordering my "Activity Cards." Click here
to check them out.
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